whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
that's an acceptable place to lick
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize