I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
