My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
