Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
