When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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