I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Watching her eat just hurts me
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
