return my video game
When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
