I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
