I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
