don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
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