it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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