Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
