Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
