i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Randomize
