A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
