I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
we're making bets on your personal life
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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