Going to get a "plan B"urrito
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
