I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
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