so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
