So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
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