OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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