I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
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