Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
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