he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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