I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
