Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
