her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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