So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
