I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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