just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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