after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
