Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize