i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
