If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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