that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
