Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
