I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
