White coat. Heels.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
