I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
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your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
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Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
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