Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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