you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
