I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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