I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
babies were throwing up all over the place
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
