I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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