operation have a gay friend backfired
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
