i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize