Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
they're like a gay fantastic four
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
