When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
