Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
