Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize