Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
