i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
