idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
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you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
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Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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