I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
