I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
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i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
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It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
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