We should be called the Road Head Warriors
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
