Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize