That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
