Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
tell me about the fingering
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