Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
